Service Description

Premarital counseling is a form of couples therapy that can help you and your partner prepare for marriage. 

It is intended to help you and your partner discuss several important issues, ranging from finances to children so that you are both on the same page. It can also help identify potential conflict areas and equip you and your partner with tools to navigate them successfully. Premarital counseling aims to help you build a strong foundation for marriage.

“Premarital counseling helps couples create a blueprint for their lives together,” says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a licensed psychologist who specializes in relationships.

Types of Premarital Counseling

These are some of the types of therapy a premarital counselor may use.

Gottman Method

The Gottman Method, developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, involves conducting a detailed assessment of you and your partner and then using a therapeutic framework to address areas of conflict. 

This form of therapy aims to improve the quality of friendship between you and your partner, increase intimacy, and equip you with problem-solving skills that can help you build a stronger relationship.1

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

Emotionally focused therapy, developed by Drs. Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg, is a form of short-term therapy. It aims to improve the attachment and bond between you and your partner, leading to better communication and a stronger relationship.

Psychodynamic Couples Therapy

Psychodynamic couples therapy examines the underlying issues that motivate interaction cycles. Identifying and addressing factors like your hopes for closeness, love, and appreciation and fears of abandonment and disapproval can help you and your partner better understand and accept each other. 

Assessing You and Your Partner

Premarital counseling often requires you and your partner to fill out a questionnaire separately to determine how you feel about one another and what you expect from your relationship. These questionnaires can help your counselor identify your strengths, weaknesses, areas of compatibility, and potential problem areas. 

Your counselor will also assess the dynamic between you and your partner during counseling sessions and use those insights to guide the course of the therapy.

Sharing Life Events and Experiences

Premarital counseling can also involve “identifying and exploring significant life events and early childhood experiences, which impact the relationship and how each partner relates to the other,” says Romanoff. 

For instance, Romanoff explains that partners often choose each other for reasons that are not fully conscious; it is only with further processing that they may understand how familiar aspects of their partner relate to unresolved conflicts in the past.

What Premarital Counseling Can Help With

Premarital counseling can help you and your partner prepare for married life together. Below are some aspects premarital counseling can help with.

• Understanding your partner: Premarital counseling can help you develop a better understanding of your partner. In particular, it can help you understand your partner’s beliefs, values, expectations, motivations, priorities, and routine.
• Setting realistic expectations: This form of counseling allows you to discuss all the important aspects of married life with your partner so that you both know what to expect. It also helps identify your strengths and weaknesses as individuals and as a couple.
• Planning for the future: Much like you and your partner would meet with a wedding planner to plan your big day, seeing a premarital counselor can help you plan your marriage and your life together.
• Learn constructive communication: A core aspect of premarital counseling is communication, as “partners learn to convey their positions clearly without attacking or arming the other,” says Romanoff.